Rocky Horror Picture Show DBZ style!
by Starryeyed Q
Summary: Your favorite DBZ characters are proud to present Rocky Horror Show! Complete with audience participation;) But something's gone very wrong backstage - some... suprise costars have the players more than a little nervous. The show must go on...
1. Intro

A familiar girl with blonde hair styled in a spiky fashion entered the theater and looked around. She closed her blue eyes, taking a deep breath.

"I am SO home..."

"Actresses..." Grumbled an eighteen-year-old boy entering the theater behind her. He ran a hand over his short black hair in its sideways upsweep. His tail twitched as he looked around. The girl smacked him.

"Ow! You didn't have to hit me!"

"Look on the bright side, Caro. Either Q gets to hit you, or I do." The third and final person had entered. She wore purple cloth gi to match her spiked Saiyen hair with a snake tail around her waist. The apparent warrioress raised an eyebrow over a blue eye and laughed when the teenage boy's dark ones fogged over with confusion.

"But, Poma... I thought you were on my side..."

"Who says I'm on anyone's side? I just never pass up a chance to hit someone."

"Alright, guys, sit down. I gotta do my introduction."

"Authors..." Muttered Poma, and took her usual seat on Q's right. Caro (still confused) took his on the left. Q remained standing and entered author mode.

_**She turns toward you (yes you, ya bakas!).**_

_**"Hey! It's Saiyeness Queen, real name Amanda and nickname Q. For those who know me, it's common knowledge that I'm a real Rocky Horror fan. So, I decided to write a fic about it! One of my best ideas I think... And what would Rocky Horror be without audience partici-..." She pauses dramatically and gives a flash of fang.  
"SAY IT!" Poma and Caro yell.**_

_**"...-pation," she whispers. Then resumes normal volume, "So, I called in my MST partners. Allow me to introduce them first, Carotus—One of Ashee and my made up characters. He's a Saiyen who gets along VERY well with Roshi (if THAT tells you anything). My second partner in crime is Pomagranata, Ashee's made-up character. She's half Saiyan, half Naga, Piccolo's lover, Vegeta's cousin, and mother of the 'Terrible Trio'.**_

_**"Together, we shall do the audience participation while we enjoy the play performed by our favorite characters! God help us all..." The lights dim, and takes her seat. She looks at you one more time and winks.**_

_**"The stuff in bold is our participation, which is kind of switched around to fit current... 'circumstances'. Enjoy!" She whispers and hops out of author mode.**_

The overture began to play...


	2. Scene One: Double Feature

The stage was not lit at all, save for a small spotlight dead center. The brunette Lunch entered. She was dressed in a dark usherette outfit with dark, heavily shadowed eyes and bright red lipstick. Everyone's favorite intro music started to play, and Lunch began to sing.

"Michael Rennie was ill  
The Day the Earth Stood Still,  
But he told us where we stand..."

**On our feet!**

"And Flash Gordon was there inEdible! 

silver underwear, Claude Rains was the Invisible Man.

But he didn't show up!   
  
Then something went wrong  
For Fay Wray and King Kong;  
They got caught in a celluloid jam.Yeah Jam!!!   
  
Then at a deadly pace  
It Came From...

**Where?**

Outer Space.

Thank you!

And this is how the message ran:

Science fiction... double feature  
Doctor X... will build a creature.  
See androids fighting...

**Q: Where's Mirai Trunks when you need him?**

"Brad and Janet  
Anne Francis stars in... Forbidden Planet  
Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh  
At the late night, double feature, picture show."

Lunch punched the air.

" I can't hear you!" Everyone cheered (including Poma, in spite of herself).

"Yeah!" She yelled back, then suddenly sneezed. The blonde Lunch took the other's place onstage and, instead of whipping out the guns as expected, she continued the song.

"It took us forever to get her to do that on command..." Whispered Q.

"I knew Leo G. Carrol  
Was over a barrel  
When Tarantula took to the hills.  
And I really got hot

Whew!   
  
When I sawJanet's twat! 

Jeanette Scott fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.

What the hell's a triffid?   
  
Dana Andrews said Prunes

Gave him the runes

**They gave me the shits!**

And passing them used lots of skills."

**Caro: (snorts)**

**Q: (smacks him)**

Yay Skills!   
  
"But When Worlds Collide,"

**BOOM!**

"Said George Powell to his bride,  
"I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills,"  
Like a..."

Lunch began to bring out the guns and the audience flinched as Q and the rest stood up and prepared to subdue her. Luckily, she sneezed and took the role of the sweet brunette once again.

"Science fiction... double feature  
Doctor X...

Sex, sex, sex! 

will build a creature.  
See androids fighting... Brad and Janet  
Anne Francis stars in... Forbidden Planet  
Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh  
At the late night, double feature, picture show.  
I wanna go  
Oh Oh Oh  
To the late night double feature picture show,  
By RKO,

RK Who?!   
  
Oh Oh Oh  
To the late night double feature picture show,

In the back row,"

**Caro: My favorite spot! (Q smacks him again) OW! I meant... cuz you can see everything... on the screen... easier...**

Q: Don't care.

Front Row: Fuck the back row!

Back Row: Fuck the front row!

"Oh Oh Oh  
To the late night, double feature, picture show!" Lunch slowly backed into the shadows as the lights rose on a chapel....

Chichi and Goku entered from behind the church. Chichi clasped Goku's arm and leaned her head on his shoulder, sighing. Suddenly, she jerked up and led him to center stage. Goku blushed and stood, looking nervous while Chichi swooned.

"Oh Goku, wasn't it wonderful?"

**NO!**

"Didn't Bulma look radiantly beautiful?"

**NO!**

"I can't believe it.  
An hour ago she was just plain old Bulma Briefs and now...

**Now she's a slave!**

"Now she's Mrs. Vegeta no-ouji!"

**Poma: The royal pain in the ass!**

Goku held back a laugh when he saw the only person who annoyed Vegeta more than he did in the audience and struggled to remember his lines.

"Yes Chichi, Vegeta's a lucky guy."

**No he's not! He'll become more of a slave than she is!**

Chichi shot a glare at the audience, then remembered reluctantly that the audience was allowed to do this.

"Yes!" She said, getting back into her bubbly character. Mr. and Mrs. Briefs walked around the church. Dr. Briefs waved at Goku and Chichi, and led a sniffling Mrs. Briefs to the car.

"I always cry at weddings," said Mrs. Briefs wistfully.

**So do I, honey!**

When the two had left the stage, there was another awkward silence.

"Uh, everyone knows that Bulma is a wonderful little cook..." Goku began, then saw Chichi glaring.

"Yes," she said venomously. Goku suddenly remembered that Chichi didn't like him mentioning that any other woman was a good cook compared to her. It didn't matter whether it was in the script or not. He sweat dropped and grinned.

"Not as good as _you, _of course... Why Vegeta himself, he'll be going Super Saiyen 2 any day now."

_Backstage:_

"WHAT? I've already gone far past Super Saiyen 2 and he knows it!" Cried Vegeta. Bulma smacked him upside the head.

"You weren't there yet when you married me, baka!" Vegeta growled.

_Onstage:_

Chichi looked much happier now that Goku had reassured her of her unsurpassable cooking skills and decided to give the poor guy a break.

"Yes," she said cheerfully, and grabbed Goku's arm for reassurance. Goku blushed and took a deep breath.

"Hey Chichi..."

"Yes Goku?"

"I've got something to say."

**Say it, dumbass!**

"Uh huh?"

"I really love the..."

**Starts with an "s"! Try "skillful"!**

"Skilful way..."

**What a fucking genius!**

"You beat the other girls...

With whips and chains... 

**Caro: (snickers and whispers) I could see that...**

to the bride's bouquet." Chichi blushed and smelled the bouquet she carried in her hand.

"Oh Goku." The music started and Goku realized that Chichi definitely does NOT rhyme with "dammit"...

"The river was deep but I swam it. (Janet)

**(said at the same time as a certain line, or "echo") Janet**

The future is ours so let's plan it. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

So please, don't tell me to can it. (Janet)Can it!   
  
I've one thing to say and that's... Aw gee, Chichi, I love you." Chichi suddenly realized Goku's dilemma.

"Just use what's in the script," she said, through gritted teeth. Goku nodded.

"The road was long but I ran it. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

There's a fire in my heart and you fan it. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

If there's one fool for you then I am it. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet I love you." Goku knelt in front of her and held up a ring.

"Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker.

He's a queen!   
  
There's three ways that love can grow.Caro: Find 'em, Fuck 'em, Forget 'em! 

**Q and Poma: (Both smack him good)**

That's good, bad, or mediocre.How do you spell "SLUT"? 

Oh, J-A-N-E-T

**(while he spells, five audience members hold up letters**)

**Q: (holds up the "T)**

**Poma: You actually came _prepared???_**

**Q: Shut it! I love this musical!**

I love you so." He put the ring on her finger and tried to kiss her, but she moved away, admiring the ring.

"Oh, it's nicer than Bulma Briefs had. (Oh Brad)

**(echo) Oh Brad**

Now we're engaged and I'm so glad (Oh Brad)

**(echo) Oh Brad**

Though you never met Mom, you know my Dad. (Oh Brad)

**That you fucked Mom and you blow Dad. Oh Brad**

"I've one thing to say and that's Brad, I'm mad,  
for you too." She grabbed his arm and walked with him as if down an aisle.

"Oh Brad..."

"Oh... dammit!"

What did I get myself into??? 

"I'm mad..."

Aren't you always? 

Chichi glared.

"Oh, Janet," Goku, said, prodding her and reminding her to keep her temper in check. Chichi took a deep breath and turned to him.

"For you."

"I love you too." They grabbed each other's arms and smiled.

Let's go screeeeeeeeeeeew... 

"There's one thing left to do - I Dooo!" Goku pulled away from Chichi when she was about to kiss him.

"And that's go see the man who began it. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

When we met in his science exam - it (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

Made me give you the eye and then panic. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

Now I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet, I love you.  
Dammit, Janet." Chichi threw her arms around his neck.

"Oh Brad, I'm mad."

(echo) You fag!

Goku was a lot better at self-control than Chichi and ignored the audience just fine. He squeezed Chichi a bit to prevent her from snapping and went one with the song.

"Dammit, Janet!"

"I love you." They kissed as the lights faded out.

**Aaaaaaaaaaw....**


	3. Scene Two: Dammit!

The stage was not lit at all, save for a small spotlight dead center. The brunette Lunch entered. She was dressed in a dark usherette outfit with dark, heavily shadowed eyes and bright red lipstick. Everyone's favorite intro music started to play, and Lunch began to sing.

"Michael Rennie was ill  
The Day the Earth Stood Still,  
But he told us where we stand..."

**On our feet!**

"And Flash Gordon was there inEdible! 

silver underwear, Claude Rains was the Invisible Man.

But he didn't show up!   
  
Then something went wrong  
For Fay Wray and King Kong;  
They got caught in a celluloid jam.Yeah Jam!!!   
  
Then at a deadly pace  
It Came From...

**Where?**

Outer Space.

Thank you!

And this is how the message ran:

Science fiction... double feature  
Doctor X... will build a creature.  
See androids fighting...

**Q: Where's Mirai Trunks when you need him?**

"Brad and Janet  
Anne Francis stars in... Forbidden Planet  
Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh  
At the late night, double feature, picture show."

Lunch punched the air.

" I can't hear you!" Everyone cheered (including Poma, in spite of herself).

"Yeah!" She yelled back, then suddenly sneezed. The blonde Lunch took the other's place onstage and, instead of whipping out the guns as expected, she continued the song.

"It took us forever to get her to do that on command..." Whispered Q.

"I knew Leo G. Carrol  
Was over a barrel  
When Tarantula took to the hills.  
And I really got hot

Whew!   
  
When I sawJanet's twat! 

Jeanette Scott fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.

What the hell's a triffid?   
  
Dana Andrews said Prunes

Gave him the runes

**They gave me the shits!**

And passing them used lots of skills."

**Caro: (snorts)**

**Q: (smacks him)**

Yay Skills!   
  
"But When Worlds Collide,"

**BOOM!**

"Said George Powell to his bride,  
"I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills,"  
Like a..."

Lunch began to bring out the guns and the audience flinched as Q and the rest stood up and prepared to subdue her. Luckily, she sneezed and took the role of the sweet brunette once again.

"Science fiction... double feature  
Doctor X...

Sex, sex, sex! 

will build a creature.  
See androids fighting... Brad and Janet  
Anne Francis stars in... Forbidden Planet  
Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh  
At the late night, double feature, picture show.  
I wanna go  
Oh Oh Oh  
To the late night double feature picture show,  
By RKO,

RK Who?!   
  
Oh Oh Oh  
To the late night double feature picture show,

In the back row,"

**Caro: My favorite spot! (Q smacks him again) OW! I meant... cuz you can see everything... on the screen... easier...**

Q: Don't care.

Front Row: Fuck the back row!

Back Row: Fuck the front row!

"Oh Oh Oh  
To the late night, double feature, picture show!" Lunch slowly backed into the shadows as the lights rose on a chapel....

Chichi and Goku entered from behind the church. Chichi clasped Goku's arm and leaned her head on his shoulder, sighing. Suddenly, she jerked up and led him to center stage. Goku blushed and stood, looking nervous while Chichi swooned.

"Oh Goku, wasn't it wonderful?"

**NO!**

"Didn't Bulma look radiantly beautiful?"

**NO!**

"I can't believe it.  
An hour ago she was just plain old Bulma Briefs and now...

**Now she's a slave!**

"Now she's Mrs. Vegeta no-ouji!"

**Poma: The royal pain in the ass!**

Goku held back a laugh when he saw the only person who annoyed Vegeta more than he did in the audience and struggled to remember his lines.

"Yes Chichi, Vegeta's a lucky guy."

**No he's not! He'll become more of a slave than she is!**

Chichi shot a glare at the audience, then remembered reluctantly that the audience was allowed to do this.

"Yes!" She said, getting back into her bubbly character. Mr. and Mrs. Briefs walked around the church. Dr. Briefs waved at Goku and Chichi, and led a sniffling Mrs. Briefs to the car.

"I always cry at weddings," said Mrs. Briefs wistfully.

**So do I, honey!**

When the two had left the stage, there was another awkward silence.

"Uh, everyone knows that Bulma is a wonderful little cook..." Goku began, then saw Chichi glaring.

"Yes," she said venomously. Goku suddenly remembered that Chichi didn't like him mentioning that any other woman was a good cook compared to her. It didn't matter whether it was in the script or not. He sweat dropped and grinned.

"Not as good as _you, _of course... Why Vegeta himself, he'll be going Super Saiyen 2 any day now."

_Backstage:_

"WHAT? I've already gone far past Super Saiyen 2 and he knows it!" Cried Vegeta. Bulma smacked him upside the head.

"You weren't there yet when you married me, baka!" Vegeta growled.

_Onstage:_

Chichi looked much happier now that Goku had reassured her of her unsurpassable cooking skills and decided to give the poor guy a break.

"Yes," she said cheerfully, and grabbed Goku's arm for reassurance. Goku blushed and took a deep breath.

"Hey Chichi..."

"Yes Goku?"

"I've got something to say."

**Say it, dumbass!**

"Uh huh?"

"I really love the..."

**Starts with an "s"! Try "skillful"!**

"Skilful way..."

**What a fucking genius!**

"You beat the other girls...

With whips and chains... 

**Caro: (snickers and whispers) I could see that...**

to the bride's bouquet." Chichi blushed and smelled the bouquet she carried in her hand.

"Oh Goku." The music started and Goku realized that Chichi definitely does NOT rhyme with "dammit"...

"The river was deep but I swam it. (Janet)

**(said at the same time as a certain line, or "echo") Janet**

The future is ours so let's plan it. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

So please, don't tell me to can it. (Janet)Can it!   
  
I've one thing to say and that's... Aw gee, Chichi, I love you." Chichi suddenly realized Goku's dilemma.

"Just use what's in the script," she said, through gritted teeth. Goku nodded.

"The road was long but I ran it. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

There's a fire in my heart and you fan it. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

If there's one fool for you then I am it. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet I love you." Goku knelt in front of her and held up a ring.

"Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker.

He's a queen!   
  
There's three ways that love can grow.Caro: Find 'em, Fuck 'em, Forget 'em! 

**Q and Poma: (Both smack him good)**

That's good, bad, or mediocre.How do you spell "SLUT"? 

Oh, J-A-N-E-T

**(while he spells, five audience members hold up letters**)

**Q: (holds up the "T)**

**Poma: You actually came _prepared???_**

**Q: Shut it! I love this musical!**

I love you so." He put the ring on her finger and tried to kiss her, but she moved away, admiring the ring.

"Oh, it's nicer than Bulma Briefs had. (Oh Brad)

**(echo) Oh Brad**

Now we're engaged and I'm so glad (Oh Brad)

**(echo) Oh Brad**

Though you never met Mom, you know my Dad. (Oh Brad)

**That you fucked Mom and you blow Dad. Oh Brad**

"I've one thing to say and that's Brad, I'm mad,  
for you too." She grabbed his arm and walked with him as if down an aisle.

"Oh Brad..."

"Oh... dammit!"

What did I get myself into??? 

"I'm mad..."

Aren't you always? 

Chichi glared.

"Oh, Janet," Goku, said, prodding her and reminding her to keep her temper in check. Chichi took a deep breath and turned to him.

"For you."

"I love you too." They grabbed each other's arms and smiled.

Let's go screeeeeeeeeeeew... 

"There's one thing left to do - I Dooo!" Goku pulled away from Chichi when she was about to kiss him.

"And that's go see the man who began it. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

When we met in his science exam - it (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

Made me give you the eye and then panic. (Janet)

**(echo) Janet**

Now I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet, I love you.  
Dammit, Janet." Chichi threw her arms around his neck.

"Oh Brad, I'm mad."

(echo) You fag!

Goku was a lot better at self-control than Chichi and ignored the audience just fine. He squeezed Chichi a bit to prevent her from snapping and went one with the song.

"Dammit, Janet!"

"I love you." They kissed as the lights faded out.

**Aaaaaaaaaaw....**


	4. Scene Three: The Start of a Strange Jour...

A spotlight followed Krillen as he took his spot in the armchair, strategically placed on a platform in the middle of the audience. He cleared his throat and braced himself for the audience abuse.

"I would like,

You would, would you? 

ah, if I may, ...

You may!   
  
To take youWhere? 

on a strange journey.

How strange was it? 

**Q: It was so strange, they made a musical, a movie, and a fanfiction about it!**

It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Son GokuAsshole! Q: Oh, come on! You know he's not an asshole! 

**Dumbass!**

**Q: Sigh Can't argue with that. Sorry Goku-chan.**

and his fiancé Chichi Ox King,

Q: Okay, you know she's not a slut... Bitch! 

Poma: This audience is good at improvising.

two young, ordinary, healthy kids,

Healthy? 

left Satan City that late November evening, to visit a Master Roshi "Scott",

Snot! (all boo)

ex-tutor, and now friend to both of them.

**Poma: And a pervert to boot...**

Is it true you're constipated?   
  
It's true there were dark storm clouds,Describe your balls! 

heavy, black, and pendulous,

You wish! 

towards which they were driving.

Is it true also, that you're gay.

Krillen cringed, but reminded himself of the paycheck and continued his line.

"It's true, also, that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in need of repair,"

So's you neck!  
Q: Say nose instead!

**So's your nose!**

_Dammit. I hate it when authors come and see me do this..._

"but, uh, they being normal kids

Normal? 

"and, on a night out...  
Well, they were not going to let a storm spoil the events of their evening, were they?..."

Certainly not!   
  
"On a night out..."A what?   
  
It was a night out they were going to remember...For how long?   
  
For a very long time...What a fucking drip! 


End file.
